Looking to the Future

This is an elaboration on my last post, where I am finding myself being less passionate about the stuff I am doing right now, part of it is certainly that I just love the grace of God in place of my own earning anything, but another fairly large factor is a lot less spiritual. Honestly, I am getting pretty tired of school. It feel like I am just here waiting and preparing for next year, where my life really starts. I have confirmed with the church in Norway that I will be there next fall to intern with them, they are very excited to have me and we will start the process of figuring out what exactly I will do there in the beginning of March. It is going to be so good! But I am not there yet, instead I am here at school which (if I can let out some frustration) does not feel like it is teaching me very much. I know that I am learning, I know that I am growing and that this time is invaluable to prepare me for next year, but I it just is not the most fun thing to do. I wish I could just flick a switch and be fully mature and perfect and skilled etc. Instead I am here, learning how to lead, how to do life, how to preach and all the other things that I will need all the rest of my days. So I will continue and be productive and continue to grow and I will enjoy it, I am committed to enjoying where ever I am. But the things that will keep me going are my visions of the future, I am laying the foundation stones for the rest of my life and I want a really awesome life, so I am going to lay some awesome foundations. Thanks blog viewers for listening to my process, I just went from sulky to excited in the course of a blog entry. Thank you Jesus for the process!

Talking About Passion

I am finding that as this year has gone on, I have become less and less passionate about going after gifts and miracles and more and more about the gospel, everything that has to do with Jesus Christ. Less about the cool things I want to do and more about the way cool things that He has done. As a result of this, and some other factors, I am in an interesting position of feeling like I do not have much passion to do anything, yet still continuing to do everything I feel is necessary and enjoying it. I am still having great prayer times, reading my Bible, doing evangelism, etc. But instead of being part of some plan or goal I have in mind, I am simple taking each day/week as it comes and enjoying myself in the middle of it. It is like the normal everyday life has become my supernatural, yesterday I played football with some friends and it was amazing, lots of fun, and in the middle of it we had some injuries and we prayed for them and they got significantly better, not all the better, but there were some miracles involved, and we didn't pray because we needed to see a miracle, we prayed because they were hurt. I love this season I am in, it is so relaxing, I am okay if I play video games for a while one day or if I don't see any miracles for a month, because God is good and my performance is not what matters. I am passionate about Jesus Christ and everyday life, not my own works.

Living Outside of School

Last week I was talking with a friend about school and life and I realized that I had been living through school. All my purpose and feeling of responsibility had been coming from my school duties, if I finished those I felt I succeeded and could go waste the rest of my time. But next year I will not have the same benefit as I am now with the accountability and godly responsibilities that Bethel's school gives. So, I have decided to make a deliberate effort to establish a lifestyle for myself that I can perpetuate throughout the rest of my life, regardless of external responsibilities. This lifestyle is composed of personal and internally motivated responsibilities that I know I will need to fulfill where ever I am in life. They are as follows:

• Evangelize regularly - Right now that looks like weekly going on the street with friends
• Continually be in the Word - I am now in a process of memorizing a couple chapters each month
• Make sure I have alone time with God - Doing nothing but being with Him
• Build relationships - Keep up with friends and continue to go deeper

I will not depend on school to meet my daily needs, I am going to develop my own lifestyle and I am going to keep it as I go, where ever I go.